Rock and Roll Over…again!!
After a brief hiatus (from sanity) I have decided to continue my blog; for myself if no one else.
It has been a full 4 months or so since I last posted to my site and its been 4 months since my mind has shifted back into a groove I was once used to.
Stay at Home Dad with 2 kids can be brutal. I sort of forgot the non stop attention that a newborn demands. Yet, I also forgot how you can always put them in the old pack and play while checking scores or drinking coffee.
My youngest is about to become 5 months old and my older daughter will shortly be turning 3 years old. The plan for my wife and I was simple; our older daughter will love to be daddy's little helper with her new sister. At this point I will start typing "Ha!" repeatedly for several pages until it ceases to be funny. On second thought, I will spare you that symbolic gesture and continue.
It has probably taken this long for my oldest (we will refer to her as "T", to get used to the idea that the new toy that can scream and poop, (we'll refer to her as "D"), is here to stay. After extensive research I have found that this is actually normal. What isn't "normal" is that "D", the youngest (4 months) is crawling. Minimal with the feet, but moving nonetheless.
I thought I'd have more time to lay her safely on her play mat and take care of bathroom business in the morn...no such luck. (Did I mention I love my Pack and Play.) So I am active, all day. Chasing , changing, feeding, and on it goes. Two kids makes raising one seem like a nap in a hammock on a lazy spring day. Ahhh. Sleep and dream... Sorry only children, this is why you have disorders. On the upside I've reacquainted myself with periodic celibacy, except now I am the one with the headache. I find it conserves much needed strength and clarity for the day ahead. Going to bed at 9:30 pm is not uncommon.
And you know what else I have learned in these 4 months since I last blogged. Stay At Home Dad is like the new black. It is fashionable. I've seen articles about it, Marie Claire just had one and it was pretty accurate, with regards to the psychology of it all. It is becoming so chic that there are dads in my neighborhood who are intentionally getting fired from their jobs so they can be Stay At Home Dads. You'd think that I'd be happy at my popularity, but no. I'm a curmudgeon. I'm not happy. When beards became popular I shaved mine off. When flannels were back in style,( again,) I wore T shirts. When wearing pants was considered "cool", guess who was pant-less. That last one is to illustrate that I am a negative reactionary or "a jackass". I can't help it. The real truth is I never gave up on flannels, I was just wondering why they ever went out of style. Back to my point...it is becoming a little easier to say that, "I am a Stay At Home Father." So, whether it is "my" time or kismet, or a mental release or I'm trying to quit smoking, I am back writing and (cue the sensitive violins) sharing my story with everyone or anyone who reads this.
I suppose the strangest thing of all is that for the most part, I am really happy with the way my life is. I sort of feel as though I was meant to do this. I mean, I am a musician and prone to fantasy and delayed development. Who better to raise my kids, me or my responsible wife with the career and 401k.
Coming up: usable content...maybe.
TWICE THE ADVENTURE
So, I am a "new" father, again, for the first time, for the last time (if I can learn how to dilute my sperm). The details of the birth of my second daughter are enough to fill an exclusive article. Some of the highlights include; wizard spells, elixirs, and conduit...I'll get around to that tale at a later date.
Since I am not mentally at full power, I wanted to briefly summarize the lay of the land.
Last night as I was eating my 2 1/2 year old daughters Dr. Praegger Spinach patties for dinner, in my bed, in about 3 seconds, it hit me. My life is now truly gone. I guess I figured I had it all down, babies, poop, pee, lack of sleep, etc And in many ways my wife and I do have it down. We both knew what to expect, how to prepare, and how important it is not to speak with each other until we've both had our coffee. But you still have to execute, and we are, but oh boy!!! Its back to basics with a twist. Our 2 1/2 year old , the new big sister, king of the litter, she can be tender at times. Tender and explosive actually. From 0 to 80mph in 2 seconds flat. When I think about it , she is the biggest obstacle. Yeah, there wasn't enough emphasis on breaking in the first born in all the discussions with regard to the new born. And being a first born child myself, it is no wonder I always felt superior to my sibling...and I mean forever. Its hard to shake that everlasting shock of a new baby "stealing" the attention that was always mine. My heart goes out to all the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, born children.
I'm going to go and play with my older daughter and meditate on this. She just learned how to spit on the floor, so I'm gonna deal with that. I figure while my wife is still on maternity leave I can coddle my first born do the general maintenance with my new born.. In about 2 1/2 weeks its game over. We'll probably all be eating spinach patties in bed...in a mental asylum.
Hello world!
So, what brings me to writing about being a “stay at home dad”? Well the truth is, I have found the world of parenting magazines and blogs to be extremely deficient in regard to my situation. Parenting is scary stuff for the novice, let alone the male novice whose only outlet for stress relief according to most articles is a “girls' night out” or a “Sunday afternoon spa day”. We are living in progressive times! I am the new demographic!