Take Stay at Home Dad Out to The Ballgame
I am a father, husband, musician, and a baseball fan. To be more specific, I am a Yankee fan, and have been ever since 1978, when I got Bucky Dents' autograph at the Triangle Shopping Center in my hometown.
My closest friend happens to work for MLB.com and I have had the pleasure of seeing my team in the ALCS (game 6 clincher-Holy Crap), and the World Series game 2 (one of the biggest thrills of my life). It is here that I found the subject matter for this entry...Baseball+ Bleachers+ Rabid fandom+fatherhood+other people with children=BEWILDERMENT
The Bleachers, in any ballpark, are place where "real" fans can express their unbridled feelings of pleasure and pain, free from the rigors of politeness and "politically correct" behavior. So, as my friend and I stepped into our packed row and looked for our seating assignment, I was a little suprised to find two families and their young children in front of us. Half of the group were Yankee fans and the other half were Phillies fans. What a dichotomy!!!! Three adorable children in their Yankee gear, and three misguided rugrats in Phillies gear.
The game began, and what a game it was. Low scoring, tense, loud, and very important (the Yankees had lost the previous nights game). No one lost any of their enthusiasm while cheering on their team. And no one seemed to remember there were children in front of us.
Sidebar- I am a father. I do my best to curb my language in front of my daughter. I encourage others to do the same when she is around. At home, I do not mock people for being "Pedro", or for having a very silly mascot.- However, I was not at home. I was at the WORLD SERIES.
As the game continued, so did the cheering, fueled by dedication and...yes...a few adult beverages. Every now and then one of the children would turn around in wonder over some new colorful twist of the English language they had never heard. Sometimes even the mother would look over her shoulder, as if to say, "There are children here." A small part of me would flinch and think about my daughter, but then I remembered the game and went about my business of watching the WORLD SERIES.
It was late in the game, the Yankees just went ahead on a solo home run, PANDEMONIUM!!!! After we sat back down, the little Phillie fan looked right at me so I asked, "Why are you a Phillies fan? Are you from New York? Don't you want to grow up and be a winner? A 26 time winner?" (At this point the mother was also looking at me, but I was genuinely polite and I think she could tell I wasn't being threatening. I would never try and scare a child)
The kid said he was from New York, but his Dad liked the Phillies. It was at this that I told him, "I have a daughter as well, and I am encouraging her to get on the winning team."
This seemed to get the mothers attention and she said, "You have a daughter?" with shock and disbelief, as if I were a maniac who couldn't possibly have a child.
I responded to her, "Yes. Yes I have a daughter."
-I knew where she was going. And I wasn't bothered by it. Yes. This is a public event. Yes. We should all try and be gracious fans (had she ever been to a sporting event in NYC?). Yes. We should set a good example for the younger generation. Yes. Beer is way to expensive at the ballpark and you would think this would limit consumption.
With this in mind I was not surprised when she asked her next question, "Would you want your daughter exposed to this type of behavior?"
I paused for a millisecond. I looked at her son, my friend, and back to her and said, "No ma am. But this isn't a nursery. This is the World Series."
I said it plainly, no attitude, no sarcasm. However, I don't think she liked my answer. She left with her husband and kids shortly after the Yankees tacked on a 3rd run. It was only 3 to 1. "How typical" I thought.
But was it the score that chased them? Was it the late hour? Was it the price of hot dogs , which their kids consumed like goats at a paper factory? Maybe it was me. Could what I had said sunk in? Was it the "do you want to be a winner comment"? Was it the "nursery" jibe? Did I save a misguided youth from a life of mediocrity? It was probably the expensive beer. But as Mariano Rivera took the mound for a 2 inning save , I felt I did the Yankees, the "bleacher creatures" and my daughter a favor my getting five Phillies fans out of the game. That mother knew I was right. This isn't Muppets on Ice, this was adult entertainment, gladiator stuff. A minor league game would be a much better starting point for her children. Perhaps a major league game in April or May...but October? No. This is skill level 10. There should be a height requirement to get in. I know it sounds harsh but this is how I feel.
She got it...she and her enemy team/family left.
I consider this my first save.
VIVA BASEBALL!!!
November 4th, 2009 - 08:06
Well done, sir
November 4th, 2009 - 11:24
You are evil. But totally right.
November 4th, 2009 - 17:56
you should have told her about the tourettes.
November 11th, 2009 - 08:18
I gave myself a week to think about this posting. My first reaction was mixed. The author has a great sense of humor, however, my thoughts kept going back to the family that most likely left because of his behavior. Being a Yankee fan mostly through growing up in NY and having brothers that are Yankee fans through and through I was excited and cheered the Yankees on. Of course people get excited and probably behave in ways that are objectionable, they are caught up in the moment. My thoughts continue to focus on those kids who were just as excited to be at a World Series with their dad who was a Phillies fan. Some day I’m certain Stay at Home Dad will bring his kids to a game just like Phillies dad did in th hope of a lasting memory (remember how you felt when you got Bucky’s autograph)? You can be a Bleacher Creature but kids deserve to have fun at a game.
November 12th, 2009 - 08:08
Very well-written, as are your other blog postings, but this one makes me feel uncomfortable. I see a dichotomy between the unabashed, exuberant joy experienced by you and your seeming unconcern for the feelings of others-especially a young child and her family. I fully appreciate such joy being a sports fan myself and from countless other experiences, but I personally would find such joy diminished or overshadowed if it were at the expense of trampling on another’s feelings through my own actions.
I can envision the empathy, if not hurt, I would experience if my own daughter or granddaughter were the recipient of similar behavior. In fact, I may be totally wrong about this, but I believe you were also bothered or at least concerned about the feelings of that little girl. I say this because nearly 3/4 of your article is a defense or rationalization for what you did and why you believe you were in the right. I believe such an extensive rationalization would not have been put forth had you a clear conscience with no remorse or concern.
Note that I’m not judging you as a bad or uncaring person, but one that got caught up in the heat of the moment, especially a World Series game. We all get caught up in such moments countless times throughout our lives, but I believe such situations do not serve to excuse questionable, hurtful behavior at any time. Compassion for others is a fundamental component of our humanity and our own well-being. I believe when we mess up, as we all do, we need to acknowledge doing so, to make amends when possible, and to strive throughout our live to do the right things. Excuses and alibis for poor behavior do not negate poor behavior.
Finally, I would like to encourage you to continue with your periodic blog postings. They are very entertaining reading.
November 12th, 2009 - 13:27
I appreciate your thoughts. I will try to address your concerns point by point.
The family left because it was getting late and their 4 year olds were tired. And the Yankees had just gone up 3 to 1. No one was directly attacking them. People do get excited, but in these circumstances enthusiasm and adrenaline often win out.Right or wrong that is the nature of being a fan. This is not unique to NY or baseball. Would you take a young child to a European Football game? My observations were based on my fandom and being a father. A real sports fan would understand what I mean when I said that “…its the World Series.” If there is something that is truly important to me I don’t consider bringing my daughter, because her presence would override everything. She is ultimately the most important thing in my life. Sports offer an indulgence into escaping reality. The World Series is the pinnacle of that escapism. My comments were in wonderment of the parents. My questions to the kid were meat to be cute. He looked at me first and believe he understood. I was a few years older when I had my Buck Dent moment. So I could appreciate his home run against the Red Sox in ‘78. Those kids would have been happy watching Field of Dreams. I was there only for my team, no one ruined those kids time…except for the Phillies.
November 12th, 2009 - 18:36
Phildaddy-
I understand what you are trying to say and your apparently poor behavior makes more sense in this somewhat revised or clarified version. Unfortunately, the impression portrayed in the original story is one of boorish behavior with seeming disregard for the feelings of others-particularly a child. The fact that considerable efforts were used in the article to justify your behavior makes it seem that you believe it needed to be justified. In other words, although you are, in all likelilhood, a very good person filled with deep compassion, the article seems to portray the opposite and, I believe, shows you in a negative, unflattering light.
Had the article focused more on your experiences of being at the game and the moment, your childhood reflections, and possibly your visions of sharing your Yankee fanaticism with your daughter, it would have been much better without the negativism. Anyway–that’s my opinion.
November 13th, 2009 - 08:00
Well, ELGEE DEE, the reply I had posted was in reference to reddoor, not you. However, I take issue with “boorish behavior”, and your over the top assumptions of what went on. From your point of view it would seem as if I traumatized the child, this in not only incorrect it is very unfair.
The article presented an experience I had. I simply told it the way I saw it. I have no reason to justify my behavior, because I am not apologizing for it.
June 21st, 2010 - 00:48
found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later