The Rod Serling Effect
Happy New Year everybody. My only resolution this year is to write more "blogs" or "articles" on my site. Did I mention raising a child is time consuming? I thought I would take a few moments to "clean house" on the year gone by with respect to my family life. But instead, I thought it might be more fun to reflect on the holiday week in general. I like to call it OUT OF SYNC WEEK. By this I am referring to my daughter, who has been time traveling in all sleep zones for the past 10 days. Whether it was Christmas eve with the in-laws, or a tiny social gathering among friends, or an 8 hour day with my family for a Christmas Day gift massacre, my kid is not right.
Submitted for your approval. A toddler we will simply call "Ms. T". And a robust gift giver by the name of Santa. Twelve days of holiday cheer that turned into 12 nights of satanic misery. What happens when the apple of your eye quickly turns into the applesauce down your pants. Let us journey now into the nether region of cartoon and nightly news. A place where the "binky" meets the eye. A state of undoing that no cup of coffee can correct. A place I like to refer to as...The Twilight Zone.
Could it be too much excitement? Too much attention? Too much pasta? Too much rock and roll? Yeah, it's probably all of the above. No doubt all parents experience this rift in time, the black hole in Toddler-dom, where nap time could be anytime. Where bowel movements are few and far between. Where outfit changes become obsolete (see Hugh Hefner). Where bedtime is anybody's guess, and location...well, that's dealers choice.
My mind is a little fuzzy from last nights lack of sleep, but I believe that this started Christmas eve at my sister in laws house. I noticed a strange phenomenon: Nudity. Not the regular nudity my daughter enjoys. Those passive few minutes between her street clothes and pajama time. I am talking about extended nudity. Nudity , unbridled and quite lively. It actually appears to be both liberating and refreshing, but after the first hour, a little extreme. This seemed okay in front of her immediate family but what about play dates? What about lunch in a fine eating establishment? What's worse, is the end game, the "lets chase you around with a diaper before you sit on furniture sans pants". She just loves that, but what she doesn't love is the end result...her with a diaper on and a face full of tears.
Onward and upward... diet!! A little spaghetti, kielbasa, chips, seltzer, chicken nuggets (I am becoming ill myself) does not a happy baby make. Sure, she's happy at the time, and no, Mommy and Daddy are not the main culprit ( that is a grandparents job), but this obviously disrupted more than her sleep. wink wink, You see she was not laying the golden egg, if you get my meaning. Not laying it for several days in fact. Ahh!! A fantastic ripple effect, no pooh, no sleep, no fun. could this week get any better? Why yes it can.
It was not enough that my daughter was now going to bed anywhere between 10:30pm and 11:30pm, in fact a few times after my wife and I had fallen asleep on the couch. Somewhere along the line she decided that the martial bedroom was the communal bedroom. Nearly every evening ended on the same note, "Mommy, Daddy, bed." And off to bed we all went. I don't know about you, but I (and my wife) never sleep soundly when my daughter is in bed. Therefore, the plan is to let her fall asleep and put her in her own bed as quickly as possible. (Before we both fall asleep) In addition, I enjoy reading before I go to sleep. A few pages to pass the time between reality and the craddle of dreams. And I must emphasize, I really really love to read before bed. It is my private escape. If I could hold book reading parties in my bedroom I would, that is how much I enjoy it. Sadly, my daughter does not enjoy her father's reading habits. There are many moves she has created to interrupt all sense of peace and harmony, but the "Lumberjack" or "High dive" as I call it, is the worst. The premise is this. I start to read, she stands straight up and proceeds to fall on top of me, much like a wrestler in a closed cage death match. Ouch!!! All clad in her pajamas for days on end, like a mad bachelor at the height of the Playboy Mansion. And on it goes...
It has all been a bit of struggle. We've only just started to set her straight. So as you can guess, I am glad that the travel, massive meals, and general late night horse play have come to a close this magical holiday season.
Maybe I watched too much Twilight Zone on New Years Day, but I doubt it. I feel like my wife and I have to start from zero with scheduling in order to rip our child from the clutches of alternate dimension of time and space. And if I learned anything from 2 years and 4months of child rearing it is this, SCHEDULING makes life easier.
VIVA 2010!!!!
Children on the Job with On the Go Dad
Here's a quick one...
As you all know from my first post, my "money making" job consists of all things in the field of animal transport. The main skill sets related to this are; drivers license, conceptions of time and distance, modest strength, the ability to use a phone, driving whilst breathing out the window in case of an unauthorized bathroom break by said animal, and most of all PATIENCE. The biggest headache in my line of work are nervous clients/animal owners, and slow cargo facilities ( which is where I pick up/drop off pets).
I learned pretty quickly that I would often have to take my daughter on some of these jobs, for better or worse. The first jobs I took her on were made more difficult due to the fact that she couldn't walk, so...imagine trying to lift up a 70lb bob cat while making sure your infant daughter isn't about to become a mid morning snack break. -(Note to child care services* this is a joke on many levels. A. I have never transported a bob cat. B. The majority of my jobs are in the evening so any meal would be considered dinner, possibly a late lunch.) The point is, that it is rather difficult handling the animals and my kid. However, as time has passed, there was one silver lining which revealed itself, "daddy/ daughter favoritism"- from those with warm blood in their hearts.
Stay At Home Dad and Breast Feeding Among Strangers
My daily trips to the park often yield wonderful life changing experiences for my daughter and myself. New words, new feats of strength, coordination, and new friends. My daughter is now entering her age of exploration which often means walking up to other children and parents to see what they're doing or what toys they have. One such occasion brought me face to face with a new adventure for me...public breast feeding. I must be clear on this, I have no problem with breast feeding, my wife breast fed and I have seen other women breast feed first hand. It is great, healthy and so very natural. However, I was mentally unprepared for the situation I had yet to encounter, until last week, one on one conversation/breast feeding.
The busy life of Stay at Home Dad
Damn...it has been quite awhile since I've written on my site. I went in with the intention of doing a weekly blog, but being a stay at home dad is not easy. My daughter is 2 years old now, and I feel I am just accepting the "new" boundaries that are my life.
I'm sure women must go through the same experience; "Your Time is no longer your time!!" But, it is a real adjustment. Physically and psychologically.
Hello world!
So, what brings me to writing about being a “stay at home dad”? Well the truth is, I have found the world of parenting magazines and blogs to be extremely deficient in regard to my situation. Parenting is scary stuff for the novice, let alone the male novice whose only outlet for stress relief according to most articles is a “girls' night out” or a “Sunday afternoon spa day”. We are living in progressive times! I am the new demographic!